Chapter 6 of My Attempt at a Novel

Chapter 6: Awake in A Plane
Broadway Lorimer: Aah!!
Flushing Shea: What is wrong with you right now, Broadway Lorimer? I thought you were napping, or at least you said that you were napping, I guess you were not napping like you said, after all. Now the joke is on you! Bwahahahahah! Bwahahahahaha!

Broadway Lorimer: The joke is not on me. I was really sleeping, or napping, as I said, but I had a dream that my house only had 45 floors! How would you feel if you had a dream that you lived in a house that only had 27 bathrooms? And the scariest part is… I was not using my special pure gold toothpaste in in my dream, I was using some weird, generic, Colgate toothpaste. Colgate is for poor people.

Flushing Shea: Wait a minute, why are we always engaged in these pointless arguments where we talk like retards and use so many words to explain things that would probably be in the dictionary if you looked up the word “Simple.”

Broadway Lorimer: Well, do not say anything, because the author can do whatever he wants in this story, since he technically invented us and our unique personalities and ways in which we speak.

Flushing Shea: I will say whatever I want to say! Screw you, big shot author guy! You can not control what I do! I have free will! Why do you think you can boss us around and make us do stupid things, like sing “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey and “American Pie” by Don McLean?
(Flushing Shea and Broadway Lorimer put on sombreros, which were hiding in the overhead compartments, and sing “La Cucaracha” in a very odd and squeaky voice.)
Broadway Lorimer: See, Flushing Shea, I told you so many times not to mess with the author, I mean, he could just make us do anything, or worse, he could get rid of our characters and creative personas, ditch this story, and write a new one, with characters who comply with what he says.
Flushing Shea: Aah, that is not that bad, Broadway Lorimer, all we had to do was sing “La Cucaracha” in sombreros, it is not like we had to do anything that traumatizing. I mean seriously, author dude, try your worst, there is nothing you could do to me! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am in a story and you are not!!
Broadway Lorimer: Flushing Shea, I would not provoke the author, he could make us…
(Flushing Shea and Broadway Lorimer share a timely kiss)
Flushing Shea: Oh, you are playing hardball now, buddy. You are playing hardball! You want me to spoil your secrets too? I keep track of what you write, so I know that you like…
(Flushing Shea, in a burst of unrivaled silliness, grabs a parachute, and jumps right onto the cross breeding animals pregnancy help clinic. Good, that will get rid of that guy for a chapter or two.)
So, uh, Broadway, I am so sorry about that…
Broadway Lorimer: It is no problem.
Are we cool now?
Broadway Lorimer: Yeah, we are definetely cool now.
Good. You understand why I did that though, right?
Broadway Lorimer: Yeah, I understand one hundred percent. I mean, it was not that bad. I mean, what harm did it do, really?
So you like Flushing Shea?
Broadway Lorimer: Yeah, but do not tell him. Can I trust you to not tell Flushing Shea that I like him?
I guess you can trust me, Broadway Lorimer.
Broadway Lorimer: Thank you so much, Mike. I owe you one.
No problem, Broadway Lorimer.
Broadway Lorimer: Hey, Mike. I have one more favor to ask you.
What, Broadway Lorimer?
Broadway Lorimer: Can you include a few more of those random kissing scenes? They were nice and fun and unbeat and stuff.
Uh, I guess so, Broadway Lorimer.
Broadway Lorimer: Okay, thanks Mike.
No problem, Broadway Lorimer.
Graham Lorimer: Okay, folks, Flight 1 will be landing very shortly. Please notice that the fasten seatbelts sign is on, so your seatbelts should likewise also be on and secure. Flight attendants prepare for landing.
Broadway Lorimer: Uh, dad.
Graham Lorimer: What is it honey?
Broadway Lorimer: Flushing Shea decided to parachute there. He landed right on top of the cross breeding animals pregnancy help clinic though, so that is a positive.
Graham Lorimer: Oh, so I guess there is no harm done then.
Broadway Lorimer: Nope, I guess there really is no harm done.
Graham Lorimer: Sorry but I have to stop talking with you, I have to land this private plane safely.
Broadway Lorimer: Okay, dad.
Graham Lorimer set down the landing gear, and the plane successfully landed: right on top of the Canadian cross breeding pregnancy health clinic where Flushing Shea was sitting on a rooftop chimney all alone in the freezing cold. Flushing was elated to see DeKalb, Jefferson, Mr. Graham Lorimer, and especially Broadway Lorimer.