Chapter 10 of My Attempt at a Novel

Chapter 10: It’s Chapter 10, Do you Know where your children are?
Flushing Shea and Broadway Lorimer played a great game of good old fashioned anti gravity private plane kickball, with Flushing Shea winning with a walk off home run in the bottom of the 9th inning of the game they were playing, with a runner of the first base, a runner on the second base, and a runner on the third base. (If I was not stretching for words, I would just say that he hit a walk off grand slam, but I am stretching for words.) After that amazing and fun game of good old fashioned anti gravity private plane kickball, Flushing got some odd hunger pangs in his stomach.
Flushing Shea: Uh, Broadway Lorimer.
Broadway Lorimer: What do you need right now, Flushing Shea?
Flushing Shea: I just got hungry for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with ham and skittles on top double fried, covered with mustard, and then served with a deep fried snickers bar.
Broadway Lorimer: I guess I will call over the Kitchen Bot 5000. (To Kitchen Bot 5000) Kitchen Bot 5000!
Kitchen Bot 5000: (In an obviously robotic and artificial voice) What would you like to eat today, Broadway Lorimer.
Broadway Lorimer: I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with ham and Skittles on top double fried, then covered in mustard, and then served with a deep fried snickers bar.
Kitchen Bot 5000: I would gladly make that sandwich for you.
(Kitchen Bot 5000 shakes a little bit, then out of a drawer on the Kitchen Bot 5000 comes Flushing’s previously described sandwich.)
Flushing Shea: Wow, Kitchen Bot 5000, you are the best and coolest robot ever. Thank you for making me my sandwich.
Kitchen Bot 5000: You are welcomed for the sandwich. Since I gave you your sandwich, can you teach me how to love?
Flushing Shea: Nope, sorry, I do not give robot emotion classes.
Broadway Lorimer: (motioning with her hand towards the Kitchen Bot 5000) Okay, buddy, it is time to go back in to the closet again. We will use you again in a few weeks.
(The Kitchen Bot 5000 walks to the closet, opens the door to the closet, pulls out his oversized box, jumps in to his oversized box, and then calls Broadway Lorimer over to him to close the door of the closet. She obliges to Kitchen Bot 5000’s request, and closes the closet for him)
Broadway Lorimer: So, I think we should go back to our seats. The plane should be landing on Communist Canadian soil pretty soon.
Flushing Shea:Yeah, we really should be getting back to our seats. I agree that the plane is about to land on Communist Canadian soil.
Graham Lorimer (the pilot of the private plane): Uh, folks, um, we are, uh, about to, uh, um, land, uh, this, um, private plane and uh, um, uh, I would uh, um, like to, uh, ask for, uh, the, uh, people in the, uh, private, uh plane, to, uh, um, to sit down in their, um, seats, and uh, um, put the, uh, seat belts on so, uh, they do not, um, get, uh, hurt.
(Broadway Lorimer and Flushing Shea complied with no sort of resistance, and left the anti gravity room to enter the main seating area. They sat down in their leather massage chairs and buckled them selves in with their seat belts. As they looked out the window, they saw Canada rapidly approaching.)
Graham Lorimer: Kids, we are back in Communada, and we are back in Communada with a vengeance! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! US-
Broadway Lorimer: Dad, for the love of god, we get it!
Graham Lorimer: Okay, then, uh, I guess I will go ahead and land this plane! WOOP DE DOO WE ARE LANDING THIS PLANE!
(Graham Lorimer lands the private plane and sees Canada, which in a matter of hours has switched from a Communist dictatorship into a democratic nation. Shops are being opened and people are becoming prsoperous.)
Graham Lorimer: But, uh, we have only been gone for a few hours, how has this all happened?
Random Unknown Canadian Guy: Well, Mister Graham Lorimer, you got CANADA’D!
Graham Lorimer: I got what?
Random Unknown Canadian Guy: You got CANADA’D!
Graham Lorimer: What is CANADA’D?
Random Unknown Canadian Guy: CANADA’D is the new Canadian comedy show where we prank unsuspecting tourists into believing preposturous things about our nation.
Graham Lorimer: Wait, so you are not really crazy blood hungry Communists?
Random Unknown Canadian Guy: Nope, we are actually a democratic nation.
Graham Lorimer: And, on a lighter note, who are you Random Unknown Canadian Guy?
Random Unknown Canadian Guy: I happen to be famous Canadian comedian Colin Mochrie!
Graham Lorimer: Colin Mochrie? (To author) Mike, you could have done so much better! I mean- Colin Mochrie? What about Kiefer Sutherland? Or William Shatner? Or even Avril Lavigne! But Colin Mochrie? That is just pathetic! Colin Mochrie? Mike, I am so ashamed of you right now.
Uh, I can turn him into someone cool, I guess.
(I turn Colin Mochrie into William Shatner)
William Shatner: Hi, I am William Shatner.
Graham Lorimer: Thanks, Mike. Now I am significantly less ashamed of you.
No problem, Graham Lorimer.
Graham Lorimer: Hey, William Shatner, do you want to come back to America and live with us?
William Shatner:I guess so. Is your house nice?
Flushing Shea, Graham Lorimer, and Broadway Lorimer (in unison): Well, you have never seen nicer!
End of Chapter- wait, which chapter was it again?
*Mike goes back and looks to see which chapter it was*
Oh yeah, it was chapter 10. OK, so…
End of Chapter Ten.
Chapter Ten Footnotes: Yes, Flushing Lorimer is still playing Pokemon. It is some sort of epic Pokemon war or something like that.He may never finish this epic Pokemon war, at least not in this novel, possibly in the sequel, if I do ever choose to make a sequel to this novel. I probably will make a sequel, it just depends on where the plot goes in this novel. So, anyway, Flushing Lorimer is in an infinite epic Pokemon War, and we might never speak of him again. Wait, you know what, I will write this whole next chapter- Chapter 11- about Flushing Lorimer. That is for all of your patience and your continued drinking of the always so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, a so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so delicious Mr. Pibb (or as the Spanish would say- Senor Pibb). I mean, uh, I think it is called Pibb XTRA now, but still. Drink Pibb- whether it is truly called Mr. Pibb or Pibb XTRA. And also- Eat cranberry sauce. It is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,





I stopped writing after this point. I think it's probably better that I stopped that monstrosity :)